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George Burns Quotes

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
George Burns
Funny, Happiness, Family

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
George Burns
Funny, Dead, Sea

You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
George Burns
Age, Old, Help

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
George Burns
Success, Love, Failure

Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
George Burns
Money, Unless, Stay

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
George Burns
Single, Stress, Ask

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
George Burns
Funny, Ridiculous, Retirement

I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
George Burns
Future, Life, Rest

If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
George Burns
Funny, Age, Past

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
George Burns
Forget, Next, Finally

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
George Burns
Acting, Fake, Honesty

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
George Burns
Happiness, Good, Bad

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
George Burns
Remember, Drunk, Takes

You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
George Burns
Old, While, Getting

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
George Burns
Age, Trying, Sex

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
George Burns
Good, Together, Possible

Look to the future, because that is where you’ll spend the rest of your life.
George Burns
Life, Future, Rest

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
George Burns
Time, Goes

At my age flowers scare me.
George Burns
Age, Flowers, Scare

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
George Burns
Remember, Sex, Air

The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
George Burns
Acting, Fake, Honesty

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
George Burns
Funny, Year, Sunday

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
George Burns
Bad, Busy, Run

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
George Burns
Bad, Busy, Run

I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
George Burns
Love, Success, Failure

Be quick to learn and wise to know.
George Burns
Wise, Learn, Quick

You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
George Burns
Fake, Honest

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
George Burns
Age, Women

It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
George Burns
Remember, Used, Times

I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
George Burns
Working, Die, Dying

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
George Burns
Age, Hold, Ten

I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George Burns
Age, Putting, Cigar

I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
George Burns
Age, Here, Face

If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.
George Burns
Good, Bad, Enough

This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
George Burns
Bad, Book, Read

Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
George Burns
Age, Nice, Here

It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
George Burns
Good, Here, Anywhere

I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
George Burns
Money, Die, Lose

How can I die? I’m booked.
George Burns
Die, Booked

alex 0 Added 4 years ago

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