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Carol Burnett Quotes

We don’t stop going to school when we graduate.
Carol Burnett
Graduation, Stop, Graduate

Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.
Carol Burnett
Motivational, Life, Change

When you have a dream, you’ve got to grab it and never let go.
Carol Burnett
Inspirational, Dream, Grab

Adolescence is just one big walking pimple.
Carol Burnett
Teen, Walking, Pimple

It’s also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I’ve been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That’s why we’re here, after all, to help others.
Carol Burnett
Good, Others, Help

But I don’t begrudge anybody, because I know how hard it is to have that dream and to make it happen, whether or not it’s just to put a roof over your head and food on the table.
Carol Burnett
Food, Happen, Whether

You have to go through the falling down in order to learn to walk. It helps to know that you can survive it. That’s an education in itself.
Carol Burnett
Education, Learn, Order

Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own.
Carol Burnett
Communication, Life, Once

I wish my mother had left me something about how she felt growing up. I wish my grandmother had done the same. I wanted my girls to know me.
Carol Burnett
Mom, Mother, Girl

It’s almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington.
Carol Burnett
Almost, Impossible, Washington

In ’57, I got a job at the Blue Angel nightclub, and a gentleman named Ken Welch wrote all my material for me. I lived at a place called the Rehearsal Club that was actually the basis for a play called Stage Door.
Carol Burnett
Job, Actually, Door

I love the writing. I love the idea of typing and seeing it on the computer and printing it out myself and, you know, moving sentences around. I like that.
Carol Burnett
Love, Idea, Moving

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Carol Burnett
Giving, Head, Taking

Originally, I came from Texas, and we lived on – I guess you’d call it welfare, what we called relief.
Carol Burnett
Call, Lived, Guess

Comedy is tragedy – plus time.
Carol Burnett
Time, Comedy, Tragedy

I had a good loud voice and I wasn’t afraid to be goofy or zany.
Carol Burnett
Good, Afraid, Voice

Because nobody goes through life without a scar.
Carol Burnett
Life, Nobody, Goes

I don’t have false teeth. Do you think I’d buy teeth like these?
Carol Burnett
Buy, False, Teeth

I’m glad I was born when I was. My time was the golden age of variety. If I were starting out again now, maybe things would happen for me, but it certainly would not be on a variety show with 28 musicians, 12 dancers, two major guest stars, 50 costumes a week by Bob Mackie. The networks just wouldn’t spend the money today.
Carol Burnett
Time, Age, Money

I can’t tell a joke to save my soul. It’s just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes.
Carol Burnett
Love, Tell, Soul

I have a great memory.
Carol Burnett
Great, Memory

I liked myself better when I wasn’t me.
Carol Burnett
Liked

I wanted to be on Broadway, but in musical comedy.
Carol Burnett
Comedy, Musical, Broadway

I think the hardest thing to do in the world, show-business-wise, is write comedy.
Carol Burnett
Comedy, Hardest

I was kind of shy as a kid. I was a pretty good student. I was a wallflower, or nerd, if you will.
Carol Burnett
Good, Pretty, Kid

I’m really not that funny in real life! But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh.
Carol Burnett
Life, Love, Funny

It costs a lot to sue a magazine, and it’s too bad that we don’t have a system where the losing team has to pay the winning team’s lawyers.
Carol Burnett
Legal, Bad, Winning

Everybody I know who is funny, it’s in them. You can teach timing, or some people are able to tell a joke, though I don’t like to tell jokes. But I think you have to be born with a sense of humor and a sense of timing.
Carol Burnett
Funny, Humor, Tell

My grandmother and I followed my mother here, to a house a block north of Hollywood Boulevard but a million miles away from Hollywood, if you know what I mean. We would hang out behind the ropes and look at the movie stars arriving at the premieres.
Carol Burnett
Mother, Away, Mean

I very much enjoyed doing ‘Law & Order,’ playing a killer – that was fun, and they had a family feel around the set, so it was a happy show to do even though the subject matter was quite the opposite.
Carol Burnett
Family, Happy, Fun

My grandmother and I would go see movies, and we’d come back to the apartment – we had a one-room apartment in Hollywood – and I would kind of lock myself in this little dressing room area with a cracked mirror on the door and act out what I had just seen.
Carol Burnett
Movies, Act, Seen

On the good days, my mother would haul out the ukulele and we’d sit around the kitchen table – it was a cardboard table with a linoleum top – and sing.
Carol Burnett
Good, Mother, Days

My childhood was rough, we were poor and my parents were alcoholics, but nobody was mean. I knew I was loved. We were on welfare, but I never felt abandoned or unloved.
Carol Burnett
Mean, Parents, Loved

My favorite is doing the television show, as a variety show, every week. If the show wasn’t that great one week, we could always come back and apologize, you know?
Carol Burnett
Great, Week, Television

My interesting diet tips are eat early and don’t nosh between meals. I mean, I can pack it away.
Carol Burnett
Diet, Between, Away

I never regretted turning down anything, I never regretted losing a job because I always felt something else was out there.
Carol Burnett
Job, Felt, Losing

As far as sitcoms go, I thought Jenna Elfman in ‘Dharma and Greg’ was a wonderful physical comedienne who had great timing.
Carol Burnett
Great, Far, Wonderful

I do the ‘New York Times’ crossword puzzle every morning to keep the old grey matter ticking.
Carol Burnett
Morning, Old, Keep

Well, I don’t know how astute I am, but I did want to be a journalist when I was growing up.
Carol Burnett
Growing, Journalist, Astute

Celebrity was a long time in coming; it will go away. Everything goes away.
Carol Burnett
Time, Away, Goes

I don’t eat much meat, fish, or poultry.
Carol Burnett
Eat, Fish, Meat

I was once asked to do my Tarzan yell at Bergdorf Goodman, and a guard burst in with a gun! Now I only do it under controlled circumstances.
Carol Burnett
Once, Gun, Asked

I’m not always optimistic. You wouldn’t have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins.
Carol Burnett
Cooking, Optimistic, Mary

My grandmother and I saw an average of eight movies a week, double features, second run.
Carol Burnett
Movies, Run, Second

But I didn’t ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn’t even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh.
Carol Burnett
Life, Famous, Living

I had it in my contract with CBS, a very weird clause that was never written before and certainly not since, that if I wanted to do a variety show within the first five years of the contract, CBS would have to put it on for 30 shows.
Carol Burnett
Since, Within, Weird

You know, one wonderful thing that came out of my Enquirer experience is that, in my case, it was ruled tabloids are magazines. Which means they didn’t have the protection that a newspaper has.
Carol Burnett
Experience, Means, Wonderful

alex 0 Added 4 years ago

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